when you and your buddy are low on potassium
I really hate when I put food in the microwave and it starts popping and making explosive noises so I check it and it’s freezing cold like why you gotta play me like that
“Killed 99 bears”
a fact that if actually accomplished, should be put on a tombstone.
My favorite part is “We hope he has gone to rest.” What, like… they weren’t sure? Maybe, if ever the bear uprising should start again, he would rise from the ground to finish what he started and slay that 100th bear?
Was this man so powerful they are concerned he might not have decided to rest at all and is simply biding his time?
The bears made that tombstone.
A warning, and a prayer.
That he really, truely stays down.
This is too badass not to reblog.
"Her parents know about me. They just don’t know about us."
I TOLD MY DAD TO CHILL
AND HE SAID “I AM CHILL”
AND I SAID “I THOUGHT U WERE DAD”
I DAD JOKED MY DAD
I AM THE REVOLUTION
hello revolution im dad
i don’t think she can change her mind
she said yes but her finger said no
this guy said “bye” to me and I told him “you too” and I have literally spent the past four hours debating whether or not that was socially acceptable
"Bye" is an abbreviation of "goodbye" which was a contraction of "God be with ye" to which it would be appropriate/grammatically logical to respond "You too" so yeah you’re fine
well then that’s one less thing to be embarrassed about